


I Can Feel the Water Changing Me (It's Changing Me For Good)

by citysonfire



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Car Accidents, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-10
Updated: 2015-11-10
Packaged: 2018-04-30 23:31:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5183846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/citysonfire/pseuds/citysonfire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Robert, Andy, Adam, Victoria and Aaron go out to celebrate Robert’s divorce, a car accident leads to Aaron and Victoria being in grave danger. Robert and Adam are beside themselves and find some mutual ground as Victoria and Aaron work together to survive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Can Feel the Water Changing Me (It's Changing Me For Good)

**Author's Note:**

> This is set in the winter where some things still happened like the Lodge and the helicopter crash but others didn’t – Robert was never shot and, while he’s still made a mess of things with Aaron, he actually realised that his marriage to Chrissie was over. 
> 
> A lot of things went into this, my love of Victoria and Aaron’s friendship (though we haven't seen it for a long time I did like their friendship when they were teenagers), how really Victoria and Aaron are the two most important people to Adam and how I hope in the future the same thing can be said about Robert and how Robert and Adam aren’t that different when it comes to who they love. 
> 
> Title is from September by Marianas Trench. Also apologies if my tenses are a bit weird, it's been a while since I've written anything.
> 
> The times where Victoria’s had trouble with lakes can be found here:  
> With Billy – https://youtu.be/Aier_55tWV8  
> With Daz – https://youtu.be/rSkTEQbeu6Y

“So what’s up with these car sharing arrangements then?” Aaron said, as he nodded towards the car in front of them.

Victoria looked over at Aaron in the passenger seat and smiled, “Because you are the only man in my life besides Finn who is actually willing and able to talk to those three.”

Aaron gave her an incredulous look.

“OK so you’re not on the best terms with Robert but those three need to sort themselves out and besides, I’ve missed spending time with one of my best mates.”

“Aww, I never knew you cared.”

Victoria laughed. It was true though, amazingly Aaron seemed the most sensible out of her brothers and Adam about everything that had happened in their family recently. Aaron and Robert aren’t together or anything and they still argue sometimes but she thinks that’s mostly due to Robert not being sure what he actually wants from Aaron. Adam and Robert fight any chance they get, Adam sticking up for his best mate after all the stuff Robert put Aaron through and Robert generally winding Adam up. And then there’s Robert and Andy, Victoria’s accepted that they’ll never be best friends but it would be nice if they could at least have one civil conversation a day.

So as they’re off to Leeds to celebrate Robert’s divorce to Chrissie coming through, Victoria had carefully made it so the three of them would have to spend some time in a confined space together. Really all she did was pull Aaron into her car and lock the doors so no one else could get in, it wasn’t big or clever but it worked. Aaron wasn’t even supposed to come but Adam had insisted the only way he’d get through a meal with Robert was if Aaron was there. Victoria had wanted Finn to come too because she needed one friend who wasn’t connected to all her family drama to try and help keep things civil but he’d got roped into working at the B&B at the last minute.

Still, it was nice spending time with Aaron. He was her friend first before he was Adam’s but the two of them put all other friendships to shame. Platonic life partners is what she called them the last time they had an argument like an old married couple.

“You know, you and Robert will sort out your problems eventually.”

Aaron snorted, “Don’t think so.”

“But why not? He’s trying in his own weird way,”

“I’ll agree that he’s very trying.”

“Ha. Ha.” Victoria said sarcastically as she glanced over at Aaron, “He does care, just the whole being gay or bi thing has thrown him and –”

“VICTORIA!” Aaron pointed at the road in front.

Victoria jumped at Aaron’s shout and turned back to the road. Andy’s car was breaking and swerving all over the place. Victoria slammed on the breaks and tried to miss the car. They were spinning, they must have hit some ice, she tried to bring the car under control but they were going too fast. There was a bang, and she suddenly felt like she was flying. Then there was a crash, Victoria felt pain in her head and everything went black.

~*~~*~~*~

Robert was gripping onto the seat in front of him, “Is everyone OK?”

“Yeah,” Andy said, “Did you see that deer? It came from nowhere!”

Adam let his head thump back on his seat, “That wasn’t fun.” 

Robert turned to check on Victoria and Aaron. The car wasn’t behind them.

Robert scrambled for the door handle, “Guys, Vic’s cars gone.”

He didn’t wait to see Adam and Andy’s reactions as he got out the car, looking up and down the road. They were right behind them, if anything they should’ve hit them when Andy braked to miss hitting that stupid deer. Robert started walking back the way they came, frightened that he’d see the car smoking and wrapped around a tree. He could hear Andy and Adam shouting for Aaron and Victoria, when he saw the broken fence.

“Andy! Adam! Over here!” Robert ran to the fence and the sight beyond made his heart sink. Down the slope was the car. It was in a frozen lake and looked like it was sinking, head first and fast.

“VICTORIA! AARON!” Adam screamed as he sped past Robert down to the water.

“Adam no!” Robert ran after him, grabbing for him before he stepped onto the ice, “You’ll go in too!” Robert heard Andy swear and then it sounded like he was talking to someone, the paramedics or the police as Robert struggled to hold on to Adam.

Robert couldn’t think. Victoria was in there, his little sister, the one who’d always give him a chance to explain, would always love him no matter what, he couldn’t bear it if anything happened to her. And Aaron – oh God Aaron was in there! Beautiful Aaron who’d he'd hurt so much and he wanted the chance to put it right, he had to put it right and tell him what he felt, even if he’d missed his chance Aaron should know that he’s loved and that he’s special.

Robert hadn’t realised he’d moved onto the ice until Adam pulled him back, “Mate stop!”

Robert shrugged him off, suddenly angry at how unfair it all was. “Get off! We need to do something!”

Adam pulled Robert to face him, and Robert could see the fear in Adam’s eyes and he suddenly realised. Victoria and Aaron were the two most important people to Adam, it’s stupid but he’d always been a bit jealous of Aaron and Adam’s relationship but as he looked at Adam Robert realised something about himself. The same could be said for him, Victoria and Aaron made him want to be a better person and he couldn’t lose them.

~*~~*~~*~

She was cold. That’s the first thing Victoria was aware of. She was cold and wet and her head hurt. Someone was saying her name. She was cold, so cold. Why? Victoria slowly opened her eyes. She as in the car but it was dark and she looked around and – oh no. She was going to drown. She could see what looked like ice out of the window, she was trapped in her car, under the ice and she was going to drown.

Victoria panicked, pulling at her seatbelt. She couldn’t do this, she couldn’t die. She had visions of finding Shane’s body and being trapped in the truck with Billy. She couldn’t do this, not again. This was worse, both of her worst nightmares rolled into one – being trapped in a car and under the ice. She was breathing too fast, she couldn’t get the belt off, the water was rising around her chest, she was going to die.

Hands were on her face, holding her steady. Victoria was looking at blue eyes and could see lips moving but couldn’t work out what they were saying. It was Aaron, Aaron was with her under the ice, but that’s not right it was Daz, Daz was the one that went after her. Victoria closed her eyes and forced herself to calm down, she slowed her breathing and opened her eyes.

“Come on Victoria, you can do this. You’re stronger than anyone I know. Look I need you now OK? You can do this, we can do this together.” Aaron wiped the tears away from her cheeks, she hadn’t even realised she was crying.

“Are you with me?” Aaron searched her face and gave her a reassuring smile.

Victoria nodded, “Yeah. My belts stuck.” She looked around and realised the water wasn’t coming into the car as fast as she thought. It was up to her chest now but the freezing water seemed to be staying at the same level. “How? I mean, we’ve not sunk, why?” Her teeth were chattering.

“I think the cars stuck on the ice so we’ve got to be quick. We’re going to get out of here Victoria.” Aaron grinned at her as he started to rummage through the glove compartment, “There’s going to be no bodies at the bottom of this lake.”

Victoria let out a hysterical sob but couldn’t help but smile, “Don’t say that!” She took in a deep breath to calm her nerves, “What are you looking for?”

“A pen knife or anything to cut through the belt.”

Victoria could see his breath as he talked, the water was freezing, her legs felt numb. “My bag, it’s on the back seat, I’ve got nail scissors in my bag.”

“Well that’ll be better than nothing.” Aaron reached round to try and find it when the car shifted. Victoria screamed and grabbed onto Aaron’s arm. The water was now up to her neck.

“I’ve got it, I’ve got the bag Victoria, just hold on.” Aaron dug through her bag and found her scissors. He started cutting at the belt, it looked like her tiny nail scissors might actually work. Then the car shifted again, it was tilting, her side was getting more water. She had to lift her head right back to get any air.

Oh God she was going to die. “Aaron, tell Adam I love him and I’m sorry. And Andy and Robert and oh God Diane –”

“Victoria stop, you’re not going to die. What did I tell you? No bodies will be found in this lake.” Aaron said with conviction but Victoria could feel is hands shaking near her chest as he cut into the belt.

“Aaron I –” There was a crack and the car moved again. She was underwater, she could feel the water go up her nose, it was freezing on her face. She couldn’t breathe, she had water in her mouth from when she was talking, and she was going to drown.

Then Aaron’s hands were on her face again, his lips on hers and he was breathing for her. Victoria forced herself to calm down again, Aaron was here, and he wasn’t going to leave her. It felt like eternity as Aaron cut through the seat belt, pausing to breathe for her when he could.

Suddenly she felt Aaron tug on her arm and she could move. Victoria gasped for breath, they were in the back of the car, the only place that there was a small space of air. Victoria grabbed onto Aaron’s hand and held on as she got her breath back.

“You OK?” Aaron squeezed her fingers.

“Yeah, now let’s get out of here.”

“OK, we’re gonna have to both push the door to get it open. Ready?”

Victoria nodded as Aaron ducked down under water to grab the door handle. Victoria took a deep breath and joined him pushing against the door as hard as she could. The door moved and she could feel more water pressure as it slowly opened. She was not going to die here, the door opened and she swam out, up to the surface, following the light, up to the air.

~*~~*~~*~

Robert was at the edge of the lake with Adam and Andy, he didn’t know what to do. Andy had called for help, he’d got any towels and blankets he had in the back of the Land Rover as well as torches that the three of them were shinning in the water in the hope of seeing something. Robert felt useless as they’d watched the car sink into the water. Every moment that passed could be too late for Aaron and Victoria and he was just standing at the side-lines.

“There’s something there!” Andy shouted, pointing his torch. Robert swung his torch that way too and Andy was right, it looked like bubbles.

Victoria broke the surface coughing and spluttering.

“VICTORIA!” Adam launched himself across the ice on his stomach, Robert was right behind him. He could feel the ice shift underneath him but it didn’t matter, he had to get to his sister. Victoria looked confused for a moment, she looked towards them but looked back to where she came.

“Aaron?”

Robert could only just hear her over his own shouts, he and Adam were still too far away from her and could do nothing but reach out to her.

“Aaron!” Victoria yelled again, she was treading water and looked freezing as she frantically searched the water.

“Victoria, come on!” Robert called, he couldn’t think about the fact that Victoria thought Aaron should be with her, that he was still stuck down there.

Victoria looked back once more at him and Adam, “I’m sorry!” Then she was gone, back under the water.

“NO!” Robert had to grab on to Adam before he dived in after her. Robert could feel Adam sobbing as he practically lay on top of him to stop him going into the water. He couldn’t blame him, he could hear Andy shouting on the shore over the sound of his blood pumping in his ears. She was gone again, his little sister had been right there and now she was gone.

Robert was breathing heavily, he didn’t know what to do. He hated not being in control and if anything he now felt even more useless than he did five minutes ago. Aaron was still down there, the car was completely submerged, he could just make out the car's outline in the water in the torch beam, and Victoria was back under the cold water.

Adam was shouting out to Victoria and Aaron in between his sobs. Robert squeezed his shoulder, it wasn’t enough but he didn’t know how long it’d before he’d start crying too.

Without warning Victoria broke the surface of the water again, gasping for breath and dragging Aaron with her. He wasn’t moving. She swam over to them, “Take him! He’s not breathing!”

Together, Adam and Robert pulled Aaron onto the ice. Robert dragged him back to the bank as Adam helped Victoria out of the water. Andy helped him get Aaron onto the shore and wrapped blankets around him as Robert started CPR. He couldn’t lose him. It wasn’t fair. Robert paused to breath into Aaron’s mouth. When he looked up Victoria and Adam were opposite, Andy and Adam had wrapped their coats around her.

Robert looked his little sister over, she was alive, looked half frozen but alive. She was crying as she stroked Aaron’s hair. Robert noticed Adam was holding Aaron’s hand and had pulled Victoria to his chest. Robert breathed into Aaron’s mouth again.

“Come on Aaron! You don’t get to die like this. I haven’t even taken you on a proper date yet.” Robert punctured each word with another press on his chest. He thought he could hear sirens in the distance, Andy was on the road ready to wave down any help, but what if it was too late? It couldn’t be too late.

Robert breathed into Aaron’s mouth again, refusing to notice how cold his lips were, how still his body was. “Come on Aaron please!”

Victoria and Adam were crying. “Come on mate,” Adam said into Victoria’s hair. “I need you.”

Robert pounded on Aaron’s chest, he refused to give up. He leant down to breathe into Aaron’s mouth again when Aaron’s started coughing, bringing up all the water he’d swallowed.

Robert let out a chocked sob as he pulled Aaron into his arms, feeling Aaron’s breath on his face and Aaron’s arms around him, it was like his heart had started beating again and everything was as it should be. Robert never wanted to let Aaron go again.

Aaron pulled back from him slightly and looked him in the eyes. It was like he was searching for why Robert was acting like this and Robert hoped all he was feeling, his fear and worry and relief was there on his face. Aaron blinked the water out of his eyes, “Vic?”

“I’m here,” Victoria pulled Aaron towards her and Adam as she cried into Aaron’s shoulder. "I’m here you idiot.” Robert sighed with relief as he watched Aaron wrap his arms around Victoria and Adam. 

Aaron pulled back from Victoria and Adam and offered her a weak smile. "Told you there wouldn't be any bodies at the bottom of this lake."

Victoria barked out a laugh and pulled Aaron back to her, "Yeah you did."

Robert wasn't sure what that was all about but Aaron was still here, he was alive and everything was going to be OK. That's all that mattered.

~*~~*~~*~

Robert sighed as he collapsed on one of the uncomfortable plastic hospital chairs. Andy and Diane were fussing over Victoria, she’d be fine and was just being kept in for observation and to make sure she didn’t have a concussion. Robert wanted to see how Aaron was but Chas and Paddy were in there and he didn’t want a fight. It was almost laughable, he – Robert Sugden – didn’t want a fight, it’s what he lived for. But now, if he was honest with himself he just wanted to know that Aaron was OK and to see Aaron smile.

Those minutes while the car was under the water were some of the worst of Robert’s life, he could have lost his little sister and he could’ve lost Aaron, somehow he hadn’t really realised how much Aaron meant to him until tonight. It’s stupid, he’d told Aaron he loved him before, when Aaron was pushing himself too hard and when he did the unthinkable and held Aaron at gun point. What was he thinking? It’s a miracle that Aaron could even talk to him now. But tonight, it showed Robert that he still did love Aaron, he wasn’t sure if Aaron would ever feel the same way, not after all Robert had done, but that didn’t stop Robert loving him and tearing himself apart over what could’ve happened.

Robert ran his hands through his hair as he thought about the moment when Vic went back under the water for Aaron. When they got to the hospital, she’d told them how she’d found Aaron with his leg caught up in one of the seatbelts and the door she’d escaped through had shut, trapping one of Aaron’s arms. She wasn’t sure how it had happened, he’d never said he was stuck but she managed to untangle him and pull him free. Aaron could’ve died and Robert wouldn’t have said everything he never knew he wanted to say, he’d never taken him out to a restaurant or been able to kiss him just because he wanted to, not caring where they were or who they were with. Robert needed to say something, to do something, but he wasn’t sure what.

Robert felt someone sit beside him, he glanced over to see Adam in the next seat, looking how as bad as Robert felt.

“How’s Aaron?”

Adam sighed, he’d gone to see Aaron once he knew Victoria was OK and she wouldn’t stop threatening to get out of bed and go see him for herself. “He’s fine, same as Vic really though his left arm is bruised from the car door, they've put it in a sling to stop him hurting himself. They’re gonna keep him in a while, just to check but he should be home in the morning.”

Robert felt himself relax, “Good. That’s good.” He leant his head back on the wall and sighed, Aaron was OK, he was alright.

Robert could feel Adam’s eyes on him, “Why don’t you take a picture it’ll last longer?” Robert instantly winced at his snide comment, typical of him to lash out when he felt cornered.

He was surprised to hear Adam laugh. “You can’t hide from me now you know. I’ve got you all figured out.”

Robert turned and looked at Adam, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Look I don’t know half the stuff that went on between you and Aaron,” Robert bristled, he didn’t want to talk about this with anyone, let alone with Adam. Adam clearly ignored how uncomfortable Robert looked and continued. “But I know you care about him.”

“I don’t just care about him! I –” Robert stumbled on the words, he had a sudden flashback to standing in the woods with Chas, watching Aaron being loaded into the ambulance. He couldn’t say the words to her then, but he’d changed now, he’d seen what losing Aaron did to him and if there’s anyone who’d understand that (as much as he’d hate to admit it) it would be Adam. “I love him.”

Adam looked at him in surprise, “Well I knew that but I didn’t think you'd actually say it.” Adam put a hand on Robert’s shoulder, he struggled not to shrug him off. “I know my best mate, and I know he cares about you but he’s still hurting. So whatever’s happened before, maybe now is a good chance to try and start again.” Adam squeezed Robert’s shoulder. “Come on, I’ll do my best to distract Chas and Paddy so you can see him.”

Robert gaped at Adam, “Wh-Why? I thought you didn’t like me?” Robert ignored how he sounded like a five year old.

Adam snorted, “I’ll probably never be your biggest fan mate, but I love Aaron and if you can make him happy I’ll try and like you.” Adam stood up and made his way down the corridor, “Come on before I change my mind.”

Robert scrambled to his feet and followed Adam, he could feel something like hope growing in his chest.

~*~~*~~*~

He’s not sure how Adam did it but from his hiding place round the corner, Robert watched as Adam shepherded Chas and Paddy out of Aaron’s room. Robert snuck into the room quickly but almost stumbled at the sight of Aaron in the hospital bed. He looked exhausted and small under a pile of blankets and with all the monitors surrounding him.

“I thought Adam was up to something, didn’t think he’d be helping you though.” Aaron smirked as he sat up straighter, he winced as he jostled his arm in the sling.

Robert moved closer to the bed, he wanted to reach out and touch Aaron to convince himself that he was really alive and OK. “Yeah, you could say we understand each other now.” Robert offered Aaron a small smile and his heart fluttered when Aaron returned it.

“I just wanted to see you were OK. You had us all worried for a moment there.” Robert could barely look Aaron in the eye, it hurt too much seeing him in a hospital bed again. It reminded him of the time he nearly lost him before, how could he have not realised then how much Aaron meant to him.

“As you can see I’m fine, just a bit cold and banged up.”

“Yeah,” Robert didn’t know what to say. He’d been spending all this time outside worrying about Aaron and what he might not have had the chance to say and now he’s got the chance the words won’t come out. He found himself staring at Aaron’s sling, he couldn’t stand seeing Aaron hurt but he didn’t know how to tell him that.

“Well… if that’s it I should probably get some rest.”

“No I –” Robert took a deep breath, it would be now or never. “When you and Vic were in the water, it was the worst feeling ever. It made me realise something though, it made me realise how important you both are.” Robert risked looking at Aaron, he looked confused but he was letting Robert talk. “Of course Vic’s my sister but you, after everything that’s happened, after everything I’ve said and done I realised I still care about you. I wouldn’t have known what to do if anything had happened, if you hadn’t sat up and threw up all that water. I was so scared about losing you because… because I love you.”

Robert reached out slowly, not sure if his touch would be welcome but he couldn’t resist trying. He held on to Aaron’s hand and his heart jumped to his throat when Aaron wrapped his fingers around his. Robert swallowed as he continued, “I know I screwed everything up but I just had to tell you. I couldn’t live with myself if anything happened to you and you didn’t know how special and important you are. I don’t expect anything from you, I know I’ve hurt you, the things I’ve said and done are unforgivable but I just had to tell you. I love you and I’m willing to wait for you.” He leant down and kissed Aaron’s forehead.

Aaron silently studied Robert, he let it happen. If he couldn't stand Aaron's scrutiny then he wasn't worth Aaron's time.

Robert started to worry that he'd said too much or he'd left it too late when Aaron tentatively squeezed his hand. “Maybe… Maybe we could go for a drink when I’m out of here?”

Robert nodded enthusiastically and felt himself smile his first genuine smile in what felt like months, “I’d like that a lot.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope I did these character dynamics justice. I'd love to see a situation where Adam and Robert have to work together to help Victoria and/or Aaron because they both love them a ridiculous amount. Seriously in the future the four of them could become this unifying force that will not stand for anyone hurting one of the group. One can dream right?


End file.
